little whoops and big whoops

Fidel Castro is a clumsy bastard.

Like me with my words. Understanding is so difficult to reach in this dry, sometimes wretched medium. I used to be really good with words, but I can't seem to make myself clear with them any longer. Maybe I just talk too much. Action would seem to be the thing. The remedy. But if I act and the result is bad, I just have to talk twice as much to explain myself.

I'm friggin thirty and I feel like a teenager. (whine)Nobody understands me!(/whine)

It is imperative that everyone I care about understands that no matter what I say, I don't care any less. With the exception being if you kill my dog or rob my house or some shit like that, I might say "I hate you motherfucker and if you come near me again I'm gonna pull your spine out through your ass." In which case my words haven't failed me and I actually have lost affection for you. But two different people in the last few weeks have run into situations with me where they felt either let down or downright alienated by my feeble attempts at communication. I love to communicate. Seriously, it turns me on like nothing else, but I'm just not very good at it these days. I hope not to lose people I care about because of that. I believe one of these issues was resolved, I can only wait and see how the other plays out, because there is more than mis-communication involved in that one.

In any case, I'm cool. Really. It is your pleasure to know me, because lately I've been re-evaluating my worth, and I've realized that I was using the wrong benchmark. I'm actually really awesome, but I promise not to let it go to my head. I'm just excited to have discovered it, so I had to mention it here. I'm going to listen to some Tesla now and play solitaire while waiting for my laundry. You all have a good day, it's easy enough if you let yourself.