quitters

define.
defy.
defile.

but don't delete.

you can pretend that you weren't here, but that doesn't make it true.

Prophetic Words

The larger the mob, the harder the test. In small areas, before small electorates, a first-rate man occasionally fights his way through, carrying even the mob with him by force of his personality. But when the field is nationwide, and the fight must be waged chiefly at second and third hand, and the force of personality cannot so readily make itself felt, then all the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can most easily adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum. 

The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. 

July 26, 1920
H.L. Mencken
in the Baltimore Evening Sun.



Nostrodamus ain't got shit on him.

I get so much done at work now

Hymn and Her

I’ve shaken hands in foreign lands
And said my prayers to slaughtered lambs
Spent before their time in empty sacrifice
I’ve sat on cold, hard wooden benches
Let them scramble all my senses
Took their word for it all, and didn’t think twice
I’ve been warmed by summer sun
Stone still through times I’d choose to run
Filtered through a stained glass illusion
I’ve sang the saints in litany
Petitioned them to leave me be
And let me find my own way through confusion

Heaven’s not a world above
A place away from all I love
I’ve found it on my own inside her eyes

The holy word still goes unheard
It bides its time in hearts interred
Trampled down by minds without reflection
Faith misplaced and love misspent
Ignoring what was Heaven sent
Making rules instead of following directions
I don’t need their absolution
Love is such a clear solution
I know that in my heart this much is true
Spare the candle, book, and bell
I found my own way out of hell
And I can’t wait to shout it unto you

Heaven’s not a world above
A place away from all I love
I found in on my own right on her lips

Blame me, call it heresy
Shake your head then leave me be
Life will go on fine without your blessing
Mine is such a state of grace
Each time I get to see her face
I find truth while you just go on guessing
Now I lay me down to sleep
And pray my love will grow and keep
I’ll give her everything to have and hold
All she is is my obsession
This will be my last confession
I don’t need you now she’s saved my soul

Heaven’s not a world above
A place away from all I love
I found it on my own inside her arms


Heaven’s not a world above
Heaven’s not a world above
Heaven’s not a world above
It’s all the time I’m with her

3.21.06
Manic

song maybe. poem, I dunno.

Baby fat baby

you’re playing a dangerous game
and it sounds like a dangerous song
and when I shake off this baby fat baby
I swear I’ll start playing along

your face is angelic before me
even when cast in the red light
and the songs that you sing are breaking my heart
‘cause you’re only mine for the night

I shirked off each obligation
my pools are all leaves and decay
but if I thought for a second it would sway you
I'd shake it all off and jump anyway

there’re parts of you that never sing
like parts of me that always fade
and even in darkness I’ve never shone brighter
than the notes that you’ve never played

I’m singing a dangerous song
while playing a dangerous game
if I ever shake off this baby fat baby
then you’ll remember my name
I’ll make sure you remember my name

3.14.06
manic

I'm Nick James, Bitch!

A hearty congratulations are in order to my sister and brother-in-law.
I'm an uncle.






Nicolas James Hamilton
b. 7:07pm
8 lbs 7 oz
20 inches long

and watch out ladies, he's single!

amen brother, amen

Ironically, it's this same malignant narcissism, revealing itself through whining, arrogance, avarice, pique, anxiety, severity, defensive cynicism, and aggressive ambition, that is keeping the vainglorious out of their paradise. Among our egocentric sad-sacks, despair is as addictive as heroin and more popular then sex, for the single reason that when one is unhappy one gets to pay a lot of attention to oneself. Misery becomes a kind of emotional masturbation. Taken out on others, depression becomes a weapon. But for those willing to reduce and permeate their ego, to laugh--or meow--it into submission, heaven on earth is a distinct psychological possibility.

--Tom Robbins
In Defiance of Gravity

shimmy

the sunrise this morning was like a scene from a michael mann christmas movie shot in north dakota.

what I mean to say is, it was beautiful.

mornings are something I had to get used to, which is a shame, because there is just as much beauty there as there is at night.

as I work on all the things I need to change in my life, looking at the world in a different light (so to speak) is just par for the course. I don't believe that I have changed inside, but that my interaction with the external has become somewhat more involved. simply put: I'm not sleeping as much.

I mean that in the best possible way.

I look forward to more sunrises and more sunsets and all the things that come before and after.


I think me, I want life,
I think me, I want a house and a wife,
I want to shimmy- shimmy- shimmy through the break of dawn, yeah.
-system of a down 

new and improved ways to annoy your friends

I love shit like this. It makes you all work for my love.

If your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

Do it!

I have a feeling it wouldn't matter anyway

i'm just a boy whose intentions are good,
oh, lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

there is no poetry here today.
don't know if that marks progress or a lack of it.
but the things that I mean aren't usually taken the right way.
so I have to remind people that I am only a man,
and not a great one.

I against I against I against I

there are things in my life that I am trying to achieve.
there are people in my life that I am trying to relate to.
there are mistakes in my past that I am finally leaving behind.
and, in the midst of all of this, there is day to day life.

it always comes down to a lack of understanding.
and then life gets in the way before we can explain.

I never mean
I'm never mean
and
I don't love
I don't love
but
I can't move if
I can't move
and
I won't live
I won't live

so if this changes how each of you and I are with one another,
I'm sorry for that. it's not forever,
but it's how it's got to be.