sweet street weeper,s

jesu swept 

ceasar wept 
when there were no more 
worlds to conquer 

i and my guitar (gently) both, we extend play, 
sotos peak 

grieve and weep 
because tonight I'm 
fucking sad 

even in my dreams my bed is empty

i don't know if you know what i mean
when i say that i think you're unreal
it's a boy's way of misbehaving
when he can't really say how he feels
there was a time not so long ago
when the truth would have knocked me down
with no way of getting better
spend days and nights just wandering around

but the past is where it belongs
and I'm stronger these days when it comes to love
maybe I'm amazed but I know the deal
even in my dreams, my bed is empty

beauty is only a flesh wound
the infection runs down right into the soul
your smile is a vaccination
but there's never been a cure for this kind of cold
I'm man enough to know the difference
the look in your eyes is an obvious clue
victim is a role that I'll never take
no matter how much I die wanting you

but the past is where it belongs
and I'm stronger these days then I've ever been
maybe I'm amazed at the top of my lungs
but even in my dreams my bed is empty 

98 degrees of separation

even the grass was sweating today

bricks were crying because the sun would just not let up

tarmac wept openly in front of curbs

buildings began to undress (red faced, like good puritans) early in the morning, some even before the sun had completely risen

cars were wheezing and struck with militant, hay-fever like symptoms 
they moved today like sickly turtles walking across a burning cactus

it was just hot enough to warm some bread on the front porch

haze would hug you like a dirty uncle

a whisper could knock you unconscious

summertime, and the dying is easy 

I've got my spine, I've got my orange

lust rusts? genius
forget a watch, my internal clock is sub-atomic and particles dance and spin thinking that they'll never die as long as they're fashionably late

I've got my orange...

it is disgraceful how much i want in life
for the precious little i offer the world, entitlement shouldn't even make a cameo in the folds and ripples of my brain. but i'm only human

i'm (l)only human

I've got my spine, even if it does go soft at the most important bits. and (don't look now, I'm talking about a girl) I definitely go all jellyfish when she smiles.

where is the efficiency expert who will take me from operating at a loss to my grand and mighty days as a world leader in living happily?

c r u s h ?!?!?!? 

Did I say that out loud?

Who said crush? Well, Heather did. In reference to me, towards Ann. I never said. Not to her. This does not bode well. Ireland, sweet Ireland. Embrace me and bring me home.

i am going crazy over this girl

belief, entitlement, promise(bottled), hope

when you go for a really long time without seeing someone who sends you reeling,
when you last for years without ever really caring about anyone new,
when you don't meet anyone for years that can make it hurt,

yes, it's that much harder when it happens.

::::::::::::::::::::::

try and remember when you learned it was a bad idea to grab a pot that's been boiling on the stove. the first learning experience of a child that has never been hurt. it's a revelation in the mind of someone so young. it almost teaches us that the best way to learn right and wrong is to get hurt along the way.

i am willing to risk the pain, because i think this is right.
she makes me nervous, and i want to do extraordinary things when i think of her. i guess i'm inspired again. 

hello darkness my old friend...

when we care about someone, we like to believe that the feeling will never deteriorate. the truth is, I've lost feeling for people that I swore I would love forever. but at the same time, I've felt love grow for people that I haven't seen in years. family, friends with whom I've lost touch. the girl of my dreams. today I can mean that literally.

last night I had the most incredibly vivid dream about the one girl that I swore I didn't love. the girl I didn't profess my feelings to. the one that got away, so to speak.

and I told her in my dream, finally I told her.

and then she left me, which is what I imagine would happen if I ever found her to tell her in real life. but she held me, and kissed my lips, and told me that it would happen next time. in the next life where it was meant to be.

what is meant to be tonight? 

a night of many contradictions
my eyes were green, which usually means
I am happy
I had been drinking, but not so
much as to make me sick
Anyway, I felt like vomiting
A look in the mirror, toward it
anyway, and I knew it by the
shape I was in
Time to sleep it off
or
time to die