the bukowski channel, "the never show"

so my teeth hurt. that never happened before. i never drank so much that my teeth hurt afterward from the slowly diminishing presence of alcohol in my system.

but i was on my fourth or fifth big gulp sized cup of whiskey. and the doorbell rang. it never did that. i answered the door in my robe, mostly because I assumed it was a drunk friend looking for a place to sleep it off. the young lady didn't seem impressed by my 29 year old physique, in all its shaky splendor. i never would have guessed at the beauty before me. she was a little shorter than i'm used to, i could rest my considerable chin on her head without hunching over. but the smile was aces, and at 3:38 am it was a welcome home party for a criminal on the lam.

she told me all about how she loved my poetry, and wished that she would meet a guy who would make her feel like she feels when she read my stuff. it was pretty typical. I could read the disappointment on her face when I opened the door. all they want is roses and red wine, unless the guy paying the tab is short, hairy, fat, and ugly. then they want all sorts of other things, that the good looking guy will pay for.

but the words were so important. she can imagine fire, but only the written word burns.

she actually said that to me. in hindsight, it's a good thing I was so drunk, because otherwise I would have thrown a brick through her windshield and pissed on her buckle-topped shoes. my tolerance and horniness increase in direct proportion with my blood alcohol content.

but I never went in for that crap before and so I wished her away, instead of wisking her away. and my behavior fulfilled my wish like the prophecy of a 12th century seer. another shot and maybe I would have tolerated her behavior. another century and maybe she would have tolerated mine.

she also never laid me, not that that's important.