deny everything

i'm just a spoke in a wheel
a part of a puzzle
part of the game
i'm being framed


it rained, I worked anyway. saw orange county, it was pleasantly mediocre. then the circle jerks.

it's been a long time coming. and well worth the wait. perhaps I've gotten closure on a portion of my life, but I'm not ready to hang up the gloves like Michael. it still works. I still love coming out of a show with that buzz,batteries charged.

hey ladies, get funky.

time to start again, I'm gonna get a jump start on spring and maybe be a little friendlier before the weather brightens my disposition. I will CHOOSE to be happy, or at least happier.

and I have nothing to hide, so, yeah, maybe I should work on that. maybe I should have a secret love, or a clandestine affair, or even a crush. it's not my fault that I'm a misfit, but it's not like I do a whole lot of trying either.

damn I hope I can still rock out like those old bastards I saw tonight when I'm in my forties. and beyond.
music is the answer.

manic 

a concerted effort to lighten up...

can you take me away from this place,
give me a weapon to fight this pain?

I will take the sun
hold it in my hand
when we both believe
then the pain just can't win

so don't let go
come on hold me tight
we'll face our sorrow
be done with the fight

I will derail desperation train
I will derail desperation

--death by stereo


here it is 2002, and I'm bored. you know the routine, if you know me. my mom might say I'm just being an aries, but it's probably a bit more than just that. I want more. I feel like I can accomplish something, but I'm beginning to understand what kind of time change takes. nothing huge, or life-altering appearing all at once. just a slow, deliberate movement toward what I desire.

let's go to the tape...

manic