You moved like honey through my dream last night... - Fiona Apple
It was a dream. There was a girl. I kept asking her out over and over, like mutilple takes of a movie scene. And I kept getting it really wrong. I'm sure this has a lot to do with the conversation I had with Brian yesterday about where our lives are, professionally and personally. I dream alot. In fact, I'd say it's my number one passtime. If I'm asleep, awake, or moving between the two, you can bet that my mind is drifting off somewhere. I don't concentrate very much. Usually I'm off in my mind thinking about anything other than what I'm doing. It tells a great deal about why I am the way I am.
I don't think I'll have the same trouble tonight falling asleep that I did last night. But I wonder if she'll be there again...
manic
been looking from outside i've been watching
but i don't know what to say
changed the old backdrop, same face
but not who it used to be
trying to get out not out getting
thinking, you're everything you said you wouldn't be
time out, i see right through
you're running around again i'm around
and still confused in an instant
can't quite relate
and i don't know what to say
all of the bonds i see that i'm not part of
it's not how it used to be
you're running around again i'm around
and i've been cracking on the inside
it gets worse each day
and i don't know what to say
keeping my distance but still i see
it's not how it used to be
pushing the time in a daze
wondering how it got this way
time out, i've gotta ask it
am i on my own?
truth numbed my feelings
I'd be better off working. It's here, it's all here. Job, money, real life. Found a house, don't know if I can afford to live there. I have good friends, I love them. Can't always be the best friend. I wasn't this weekend. I let myself down a bit. There's so much more in my head. I'm not sure I can put it all out. There are things I can't communicate to just anyone. It's been so long since I've had someone in my arms. It's getting to me. I need sanctuary.
truth
manic
