Ok, It's 3 AM

I've been driving around for about an hour. After a brief stop at the only all-night supermarket I could find for the bare essentials (bottled water and chocolate) I've wound up in Seaside Park. Lovely uptown Seaside. I am 15 feet from the beach. I can't rid myself of this mood. Worse yet, I can't identify it.
After some quiet introspection I have come to a conclusion...
It's waaaaay too eerie here.

So now I've found a new spot. Seaside Heights. the light is better too. I don't have to worry about someone walking out of the fog and scaring the shit out of me. There is some really great jazz on the radio. Mingus was just kicking some ass. Now some guy I've never heard of is playing some very serious trumpet. It does nothing to cheer me up. Something is there, bothering me, but I don't know what.
I'm not really depressed, am I?

Brian says I won't let myself be happy, and he knows me better than anyone.