Saw Token Entry tonight.
There is so much fucking energy in music. I hardly ever go to shows anymore, but each time I want to capture that energy more and more. I really wish I had some fucking musical ability.

"Here comes, thank Heaven,
         another enemy."
-Cyrano deBergerac

No big happenings, just wanted to not that I went to my first hockey game today.
Rangers 5 - Capitals 4. Twas a nail biter.

Some alternachick flirted with me on the train ride to the city. It made me wonder how she would have described the ride to her friends, or what she wrote in her notebook. Every time we interact with people we have a chance to become an event or detail in their story.

Been a while since I've "journaled."
Today was a good day. Actually, strike that, today was lame; tonight was cool. Bought Hard Boiled for $15, can't beat that with a bat. Hit the ball around, couldn't get a game though. Actually, the day started earlier when Rachel, Brian, and myself skated the plaza. It was kinda busy there so we basically hung out and bothered Mindy. I wish she took better care of herself. Brian left for work so I called Jay to see if he wanted to go to Vet's park & get in a game or two. No one wanted to play us, which, I suppose, is a compliment, so we just watched some movies instead. Jay left and I went to Friendly's with Brian. After that we went to Emily Blair's house. I loaned her dad a book of koans and Jennifer Thomann stopped by. I knew who she was in high school, but it was really like meeting her for the first time. She's cool, and great looking, and has a killer personality to boot. Sigh.
Later Bri and I went back to Dover and skated until like 2:30. Brian fucked his knee up and we acquired a plastic bunny. It should come in handy scaring the newly INTOXICATED Frank, or Joe.
Ahhhh, the possibilities.
Gotta get a job soon, being ugly ain't paying the bills.

Ok, It's 3 AM

I've been driving around for about an hour. After a brief stop at the only all-night supermarket I could find for the bare essentials (bottled water and chocolate) I've wound up in Seaside Park. Lovely uptown Seaside. I am 15 feet from the beach. I can't rid myself of this mood. Worse yet, I can't identify it.
After some quiet introspection I have come to a conclusion...
It's waaaaay too eerie here.

So now I've found a new spot. Seaside Heights. the light is better too. I don't have to worry about someone walking out of the fog and scaring the shit out of me. There is some really great jazz on the radio. Mingus was just kicking some ass. Now some guy I've never heard of is playing some very serious trumpet. It does nothing to cheer me up. Something is there, bothering me, but I don't know what.
I'm not really depressed, am I?

Brian says I won't let myself be happy, and he knows me better than anyone.